In therapy, I am often saying to people, 'we do not live conscious lives', that is, people like what they know even if it is not working for them. We all create patterns in our lives, including in our thoughts, and in patterns we will inevitably create comfort zones. So, when we are facing the prospect of change, I am well aware of the courage this will take to face and then to be able to implement something new, a new way of thinking about who we are in the world.

The prospect of creating a new story in our lives is often daunting and overwhelming, Almost inevitably we will resist this change, at least for a while. We don't trust what we don't know even though this may be so much better for us compared to our current belief system. When I am working with someone around attitude change, I will emphasise this point, both to reassure and to help the person be aware that resistance is likely to occur.

What we know now thanks to a huge amount of new research into the brain, and particularly in the area of Neuroplasticity, is that our brain is far more flexible and capable of new learning despite who we are or what our experiences may have been in the past. One of the first popular books on this topic, and one I highly recommend people consider reading, is "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge.

The old adage 'a leopard cannot change its spots' is proving to be both a myth and an unhelpful concept to believe about ourselves and others. If we embrace positive and helpful change, our life will benefit and improve over time. I tend to emphasise the importance of incremental change, to ensure we are able to cope best with these changes and not risk overwhelming ourselves to the point where we just give up. 

So, if you are making some decisions to change the way you see yourself and the world around you, this will take courage to do. Be gentle with yourself and allow the time needed (how longs a piece of string?) for these new ways to arrive, settle and become part of your new story. As a therapist, I will take the journey of change with you and be able to remind and reassure you that change takes time and courage.  

In recognition of International Women's Day, I thought it would be fitting to pay homage to two women who have positively influenced, supported and helped educate me as a psychologist. Both of these women have been my superivsor at two different points in time and both have made a significant contribution to my growth and development as a health professional and psychologist.

Firstly, there was the wonderful Wendy who I met with regularly in Canberra back in the late 1990's, at the very beginning of my career as a psychologist. Wendy is an extraordinary psychologist with great skills in Narrative and Strengths Based psychological therapy techniques. Wendy has an engaging warmth and calm demeanour. I always felt heard by her and safe in her presence. These are two powerful skills to have as an effective psychologist as I have subsequently learnt. Wendy also balanced well a sense of empathy for your situation without falsely leading you to think or believe she had all the answers to the issues, more the tools to help gently guide you to understanding these concerns for yourself. With the understanding comes the opportunity for growth and change. Again, Wendy was able to help me change my story and see how other beliefs were possible. From my hearts bottom, I will always be grateful to Wendy for these enduring learning experiences both for me personally and in my ongoing work in mental health. I recently contacted Wendy and she is continuing to practice in Canberra and has expanded her skills into the Clinical Hypnosis area. Always learning, always growing. 

The second person is the equally wonderful Kay. Kay has been my supervisor since 2007 and I have been seeing her regularly for the past 10 years (where did those years go?). Kay is similar to Wendy in her psychological learning roots and also has a strong background in the Narrative and Strengths Based models. Meeting and working with Kay helped reinforce my earlier learning and to further my confidence that this approach was the best one for me to purse and engage with as a therapist. Kay has a similar calm and engaging demeanour as Wendy. Kay has demonstrated and taught me the power of asking a useful question, for example, asking questions to help a person to work out how their thoughts are working for or against them, as the case maybe. Kay is also holistic in her approach and avoids the clinical or pathologising approach to treatment, with her emphasis being on "your story is unique to you'. Kay made a memorable statement to me one day some years ago that ultimately everything we do "Is all about Love". That statement has stayed with me and has helped me to focus on being a practitioner who engages with empathy, kindness, compassion and care, to the best of my ability (while still being flawed and human). 

So, to dearest Wendy and Kay, my deepest felt gratitude to you both. Your are both exceptional role models and mentors, inspiring me and I am sure many others to experience through supervision and therapy the enduring power of change, self care and love.

Happy International Women's Day.