In therapy, I am often saying to people, 'we do not live conscious lives', that is, people like what they know even if it is not working for them. We all create patterns in our lives, including in our thoughts, and in patterns we will inevitably create comfort zones. So, when we are facing the prospect of change, I am well aware of the courage this will take to face and then to be able to implement something new, a new way of thinking about who we are in the world. The prospect of creating a new story in our lives is often daunting and overwhelming, Almost inevitably we will resist this change, at least for a while. We don't trust what we don't know even though this may be so much better for us compared to our current belief system. When I am working with someone around attitude change, I will emphasise this point, both to reassure and to help the person be aware that resistance is likely to occur. What we know now thanks to a huge amount of new research into the brain, and particularly in the area of Neuroplasticity, is that our brain is far more flexible and capable of new learning despite who we are or what our experiences may have been in the past. One of the first popular books on this topic, and one I highly recommend people consider reading, is "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge. The old adage 'a leopard cannot change its spots' is proving to be both a myth and an unhelpful concept to believe about ourselves and others. If we embrace positive and helpful change, our life will benefit and improve over time. I tend to emphasise the importance of incremental change, to ensure we are able to cope best with these changes and not risk overwhelming ourselves to the point where we just give up. So, if you are making some decisions to change the way you see yourself and the world around you, this will take courage to do. Be gentle with yourself and allow the time needed (how longs a piece of string?) for these new ways to arrive, settle and become part of your new story. As a therapist, I will take the journey of change with you and be able to remind and reassure you that change takes time and courage.
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